I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
