I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
