That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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