Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
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As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
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I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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