Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Randomize
