So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
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This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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