there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize