Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
