just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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