Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Michael Bay diarrhea
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
