the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
What drink are we having for lunch?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
send nudes
from the living room?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
