i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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