someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
