I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Randomize
