dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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