I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
