That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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