She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
