we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
