I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
No subtext here. People are naked.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
