Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
