They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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