I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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