we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize