how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
