i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
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