Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
