that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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