erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
