If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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