AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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