So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
