the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
