he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
