And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
