My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
