So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
