I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
