I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
