can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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