Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
