She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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