look no pants
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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