Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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