its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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