i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
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you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
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I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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