it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
