hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i out mim tonsoeep
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
