This girl is more easily done than said...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
