Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
