I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
