I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize