If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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