She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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