Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize