Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Randomize
