why didn't you poke me back
just come out here and I will go home with you...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it's great music for shaving your balls
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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