i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize