Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
