i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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