so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
There r osticjed everywhere
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
